ivy league throwdown, what what?
If the divine Miss J—the vivacious AM New York sex columnist Julia Allison, that is—is to be believed, this blog apparently had haters before it even began. Damn, I feel important now. And, uh, Hateraded.
Sez Miss Allison on her blog about Daily Pennsylvanian blogger Chloe Hurley:
“She [Chloe Hurley] goes on to ennumerate all of the problems she has with sex columns, especially sex columns in the Ivy League (whew, one time I’m glad Georgetown didn’t make it in there, those Jesuit SOBs!):
For some reason, people seem to think that coupling an Ivy League setting with sex is the most riveting and raunchy combination ever. I think it’s getting pretty stale.
On top of it, every chick who’s tasted a Cosmopolitan thinks that she’s Carrie Bradshaw. Baby, just because you sit at home in front of your laptop in your underwear and can slur out some hackneyed puns don’t make you no Carrie Bradshaw. Drop a few pounds, take a journalism course, and try me again.”
....
Hmm … Is she referring to Miss Jessica “Out of Your (Ivy) League” Haralson? The Cosmo, the underwear, the … drop a few pounds?? That bitch! Jessica, you could totally take her. Catfight!
Julia, I wish Chloe was talking about me—‘cuz then I could feel all self-righteous and indignant, and who doesn’t need a pity party every now and then? Trouble is, Miz Hurley wrote her manifesto against Bradshaw wannabes on October 4th. And I started writing this blog on the 6th.
But for Julia’s sake, I’ll pretend that Chloe and I are TOTALLY FIGHTING. In a vat of baby oil. Wearing string bikinis. MY READERSHIP WILL TOTALLY GO UP THEN! MAYBE WE COULD RELEASE A SEX TAPE! BRING IT!!!!!!
(For the record, I kid. I <3 you, Chloe.)
And actually, I totally agree with Chloe’s entry. It’s no longer that transgressive to say “Well LOOKIT ME, I’m in the Ivy League, and I have sex!!@#!@#” College students are going to screw, and there’s nothing particularly relevant or insightful about said screwing—unless you grew up watching The 700 Club, of course.
So why do I write? I humbly propose that we should diss the writing (I’m looking at you, the shitfest that is Chloe does Yale), not the genre itself.The college sex columnist , a mainstay of our confessional culture, is here to stay —but instead of writing hackneyed observations about the art of blowjobs and the merits of fucking frat boys, why not write about, ya know, how sexuality relates to the world outside the Ancient Eight? Heck, New Jersey is practically enabling gay marriage. Abortion is getting discussed by the courts again. Evangelicals want everyone to have, like, ten million kids. On the Ivy League front, my alma mater is finally moving forward on prosecuting date-rape lurvin’ prof Tracy McIntosh. See? Plenty o’ relevance. Maybe that’s not as hot as imagining sex in the stacks, but at least it ain’t stale.
Or if you’re a young buck who wants to focus on the college world alone, let’s at least exorcise the Carrie Bradshaw demon. I always wondered why she wasn’t fired for writing ” I couldn’t help but wonder…” for the katillionth time. I can’t help but wonder when that show will be forgotten, so sex writers can cover prurient interests in (relative) peace. Seriously.
Or, I could just break out the oil and string bikinis and call this whole “writing” thing quits. Your choice, readership. Perhaps I could re-name this blog ”(Ivy) Girls Gone Wild?” Man, my momma is gonna be so proud.
Comments
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Elle, Nov 14, 02:00:
Actually, Chloe was talkin’ trash about me, though to be fair, she’s a nice gal who apologized for the atrocious behavior of one of her colleagues—a UPenn columnist who propositioned me.
Jess, it’s you and I against the world.
dj kammy kam, Nov 18, 15:32:
“On top of it, every chick who’s tasted a Cosmopolitan thinks that she’s Carrie Bradshaw. Baby, just because you sit at home in front of your laptop in your underwear and can slur out some hackneyed puns don’t make you no Carrie Bradshaw. Drop a few pounds, take a journalism course, and try me again.”
Hmmm.
Wasn’t this written about Lena awhile ago by someone else?
dj kammy kam, Nov 18, 15:32:
Nvm. =)
I see she caught it, herself.